The Quest for the Pick
by JoWoland
Summary: While Vince and Howard are searching for a new style, they come across a very specific item called the Pick of Destiny. On their journey they also encounter two strange Americans with an agenda. A Mighty Boosh/Tenacious D crossover. Rated T for swearing and "horror" in later chapters.


**This idea kinda stuck in my head for a while. The Boosh meets Tenacious D. Shall I continue? Let me know. **

* * *

"Why are we doing this again?" Vince asked, one eyebrow raised.

"I told you, we need to expand into other genres." "Yeah, but rap?"

"It's basically like crimping but we include money and hoe's." "We don't have money and let's not start with the lack of hoe's in your life. Howard, that is not us, I mean, what are you wearing?"

"It is Bitchmaster H now. And this is cutting edge."Howard's outfit was hard to describe. He wore a bandana around his head and an oversized hoodie with the words "Thug Life" on it.

"The only thing this ensemble is cutting is my fashion sense." "Don't criticise my outfit. Here, put this on." Vince sighed and took the pile of clothes Howard handed him. After a few seconds he heard a scream coming from Vince's bedroom.

"No way! Forget it, I'm not wearing this! It is not even from Top Shop!" "Vince, it can't be that bad…" "NOT THAT BAD?!" When he opened the door, Howard gasped "Oh my God!", was all he could say.

Vince wore a bright blue football jersey and a matching baseball cap that flattened his hair. His baggypants – they were down by his knees – made him walk like a penguin.

"Why are you not wearing a belt?" "I am! This is ridiculous!" "Yeah… Back to the drawing board, I guess." "I will not forget this…" He groaned and slammed the door shut.

* * *

Vince - back in his Joan Jett outfit - and Howard sat on the couch discussing new sounds, when Naboo walked in.

"What are you two doing?" "Searching for a new style." Howard answered.

"Aha." The tiny shaman responded and was about to leave the room again.

"Maybe country?" "Forget it Howard. I don't do country." "Then what shall we do?"

"Did it ever occur to you, that it is not your style that's shit, but your performance in general?" "What do you mean?" "You suck at playing the guitar, Howard."

He was about to raise hell on Naboo when Vince showed his mate a picture of Phillip and the other cat in the barrel. He was instantly calmed down. 159 Euros well spent.

"Hey Naboo, do you have some potions that could make him play better?" "Nothing in my cabinet can polish up his skills." After Naboo left, Vince was chewing on his thumb. Howard knew this gesture; it meant that he was thinking hard.

"What is it Vince?" "He said nothing in his cabinet could help you… But what about his bookcase?" They got up and ran into Naboo's room.

* * *

Since the events with Nanatoo both of them had avoided Naboo's collection of rare books. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Hey Howard, what about this one?" Vince grabbed one of the books and read the title.

_""Historiam musicae e saeculis obscuris ad Gary Numan"_ I know these words!" "Yes, me too. Gary Numan. English singer, you are obsessed with him."

"No, historiam musicae. Sounds like "history" and "music"." "Well, let's give it a look then… Oh crap. It's all in Latin." Vince took the book out of Howard's hand and flipped through the pages.

"Check this out: There was this bloke, long time ago, in the dark ages. Had the power of music because he had a special item, a guitar pick, made out of the tooth of Satan himself. Ended up in the hands of Robert Johnson, hence the birth of the blues."

"You speak Latin?" "No. Translation is right here."

"Well, where is this pick now?" "Doesn't say." "I guess there is just one way to find further information: To the internet!"

* * *

Vince and Howard stared at the computer, both equally clueless.

"How does it work?" Vince was playing with his hair. "You just type in the things you want to know and the internet answers."

"The computer can talk?" "No… Just watch and learn okay?" Howard sat in front of the computer, typing with one finger.

"Magic Pick." He mumbled to himself. "You misspelled pick." "Aha. This is why I see so many photos of cocks here." Howard deleted the r in pick and went on with his search.

"There…" Vince pointed at a picture of Angus Young. "Does that pick look funny to you?" It was green and looked like a demon's face.

"That's got to be it!" Howard shouted and read the description.

"Angus Young's Gibson SGs is now part of the "Legends of Rock Section" at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in London. Faith is on our side, little man."

"Howard, I don't like the sound of your voice. You don't suggest we…?" "Oh yes. We are going to break into Madame Tussaud's and steal the pick!"

* * *

The pair sat outside the old planetarium that now held a collection of famous and not so famous people. Howard was furious.

"You had to do it Vince, hm? You had to give Jagger a hair cut!"

"I only did what every decent human being would do! He was screaming at me _"Please Vince save me from that George Harrison 80's hairdo"_ !"

"He is made out of wax! He has nothing in his head, not unlike you!"

"At least I don't need to rely on a magical pick to do good work…" Vince said under his breath.

"What did you say?" "You heard me." "I'm gonna release the wrath of Mr. and Mrs. Pain on you, if you do not shut up!"

"Hey dude, you can't talk to your girlfriend like that!" Howard looked up at the man who just defended Vince. He was short and chubby, with curly brown hair and an American accent. He was accompanied by an equally chunky man, who was bald.

"We are having an argument here, do you mind?" Howard fumed. "And he is not my girlfriend!"

"Sorry dude… You just look like a lady." Vince gave the curly haired guy a charming smile.

"That's okay, a lot of people make that mistake." "Yeah, he is the _confuser_." The Jazz poet snarked.

"So why are you sitting outside? Got bored with the wax figures?" "We were kicked out because _he_ messed with the exhibits."

"Jagger was in pain!" "He is a bloody wax figure!" The two American's looked at the Brits with amusement.

"I'm JB, this is Kage by the way." "I'm Howard, this is Vince." They exchanged handshakes. Vince noticed the guitars on their backs.

"Are you musicians?" "Yeah, we are in a band together." "So are we." "What is it called?" "The Mighty Boosh. And yours?" "Tenacious D."

* * *

**That's it for now.** **Reviews are welcome.**


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